Showing Grit and the Power to Know When to Walk Away
Pushing through at all costs doesn't work anymore
Angela Lee Duckworth’s Ted Talk video on Grit: The power of passion and perseverance was posted on YouTube 10 years ago. In the video, she passionately begins her talk with a story about teaching seventh grade math in New York from a motivational and psychological perspective. This was during a time before she became a psychologist and started studying grit. It’s a six minute video and has been viewed more than 12 million times.
I mention this video since I regularly used it as a visual tool while lecturing in the graduate sports management program at Long Beach State. My reason was simple. In order to succeed in the sports business students needs be prepared to take a long-term view of the path to success and make the necessary sacrifices to reach personal goals.
“Grit is living like a marathon, not a sprint,” Duckworth told the audience on the Ted Talk video.
In my own work journey, I have always tried to emulate this. No matter what, keep my head down and produce. Show up each and every day. Do my best work to overcome doubters. Exceed the expectations.
It has been far easier for me to work in an environment where I’ve been valued, supported and challenged. However, when the road for work has not been well paved, I formed strategies to navigate the pot-holes, the faded lane lines and lack of street lights which help guide me and my car towards success.
Recently, I came to the conclusion that grit and long term personal sacrifice was not a healthy strategy for me nor my family. Pushing through at all costs just doesn't work anymore. Sometimes it is okay to stop doing things, even after years of moving the needle and producing recording-setting results. Knowing when to walk away on my own terms has been an important lesson learned as much as keeping my head down and producing long-term results.
I never signed up for anything in this life expecting to always enjoy the easiest path to retirement. It would be nice, but life doesn’t always work that way.
Below, is another slide I also used during my Long Beach State lectures. The top half of the photo is a person riding a bike with an ideal path to victory. The illustrator called it “Your Plan”. The bottom half of the photo is the reality of that path. Some experience a path with more road hazards than others.
All of us encounter a few unexpected and unplanned life events on the way to the finish line.
Here’s one.
Earlier this week I received phone call from my friend Larry. We played on the same softball team for countless years while living in Irvine, California. He had very sad news to pass along. One of our teammates, Rob, unexpectedly passed away after succumbing to acute Leukemia. Rob was a good athlete and a great teammate. Funny too. We were right around the same age so the news hit me hard.
That phone call from Larry just reaffirmed my commitment to acknowledge when the job is not the fit you desire and deserve, it’s okay to take a short break along this journey.
See you back on the road. Soon.
I really love this "when the job is not the fit you desire and deserve, it’s okay to take a short break along this journey." I was recently in this position and was thankful for an opportunity to find something more suited for my journey. I know it is important to also live these words outside of work in the everyday adventure in life. I never thought of it as "not the fit" but more ebbs and flows of what I am looking for in the moment or what my body is telling me I need. Thank you for sharing your perspective.
I am also sorry to hear about the loss of your friend. Lossing someone always seems to bring life into focus, even if it is only for a short time.
So sorry to hear about your team mate, Charles. I agree with you 100%. I think grit and determination are good if you feel you're on your own path, not a path os someone else's choosing. And, it's OK to step off any path that no longer feels right. I'm doing the same thing as you right now - stepping out of full-time, paid work, and giving myself space to explore other paths.
Two of my inner voices had a conversation about this exact topic recently https://moodling.substack.com/p/strive-wisely